Thursday, May 10, 2012

the million dollar question.

we have 3 girls.
and then we had a boy.
and now everyone wants to know if we're "done".
and the answer is:
or, I hope not.

but I realize that sometimes things are out of our control.

Jimmy's birth, for instance, did not go at all how I'd planned.

after a scheduled c-section with Eenie due to her being breech, I hoped for a natural birth with Jimmy. for months I discussed it with my doctors, and with each conversation and each passing month, I felt confident that Jimmy's delivery would be different. and it was. much different.
on the evening of April 14th, I began timing my contractions. they averaged about 3 minutes apart. although they weren't painful, I was told by my doctor that because I was attempting a natural birth after a c-section, I shouldn't labor at home for too long.
so we called the doctor and then called my mom.
we were freaking.
I wasn't scared at all. I was weirdly excited about experiencing labor. I missed this part with Eenie, and I was really looking forward to all of it: the contractions, the anticipation of when exactly he'd come...everything.
after the doctor determined that I was, in fact, in labor and would be staying at the hospital until our baby was born, I was hooked up to internal monitors to keep an eye on our boy's heart rate and my contractions. everything was going the way it should. my contractions were getting more and more regular and painful and baby's heart rate was steady.

and then I sat up.

and our nurse raced in and she screamed for our doctor.
and then our doctor ran in and shouted something about an emergency section.
and everyone was screaming and running around.
someone threw scrubs at my man,
and I was rushed out of the room.

and I thought we were going to die.
I truly thought that my baby and I were going to die.

we were told that from the time the baby's heart rate dropped to the time he was born was less than 15 minutes.

it is amazing how much can pass through your mind in that tiny period of time.

while I was scared for the two of us, I remember being terrified for my parents and my husband and my girls. terrified that they would be so so sad, and terrified that it was all my fault.
and then in a moment of selfishness, I was terrified because I realized I was completely conscious and unmedicated and was about to be cut open.
and then I was out.

when I woke up about an hour and a half later the nurse explained to me that because of how much I was bleeding during labor and the drop in Jimmy's heart rate, they feared my uterus had ruptured. it had not, but the umbilical cord was wrapped tightly around the baby's neck and I knew that getting him out the way they did was the best thing that could have been done.
our baby was here, he was safe, he was perfect, and while nothing happened he way I thought it would, he is all we ever cared about.

so when people ask if we'll have any more, I guess the correct answer is: I don't know. I don't know what our future holds.

if I'm asked do I want any more, the answer is: yes.

without hesitation: yes.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

our boy.

when I found out we were having a boy, I loved our son immediately.
every time I imagined what he'd look like/be like my heart swelled.
with each little kick and punch, I loved him more and more.

but nothing could prepare me for April 14th at 11:34 pm, when little Baby Jimmy joined our family
like each of his sisters before him, he captured a piece of my heart in a way I'd forgotten is possible.

the only way I can describe my love for this baby is: fierce.

I'm an animal when it comes to my babies. I am completely overwhelmed by my love for each of them...the love that fills our home each day literally takes my breath away...

and we're only 8 days in.

Monday, April 9, 2012

man~child monday *38 weeks 5 days*

I am thinking/kinda hoping this will be my last monday pregnant with the boy.
I've felt some signs that he might be coming soon and as silly as it sounds after being pregnant for 9 months, it's really starting to feel real.

I feel nervous.
I'm scared.
I am anxious.
mostly though, I am beyond excited. it is incredible when I think that in a few short hours or days I will be meeting and holding and inspecting my baby: my son.

over Easter weekend it really started to hit me,
so I asked Babe to get some pictures of my girls and me.

just the four of us.

and while we didn't get the gem I envisioned framing, I feel like the imperfection of each picture captured perfectly exactly where we are right now...


Thursday, March 22, 2012

an apple a day

my favorite times of recent are the weekdays that Birdie is at school, Eenie is napping, and Mais and I have our relaxation time in my bed.

it's just the two of us.

and I'm able to focus solely on Mae Mae and the little girl she's turning into.

and sometimes I even let her eat in bed...on Babe's side, of course.

today something about her eating an apple the way she was struck me as funny.
something about it made her seem so grown up.
something about it made me sad.

but then she gave it to me to throw out.
and I saw that she had destroyed one side of the apple and left the other almost completely intact.
and then she spit a seed into my hand.
and she was my little baby again.


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

they've got his back

my poor Babe.
he screwed his back up a couple weeks ago.
he was on his way toward recovery, but aggravated it again over the weekend.
he's very lucky that his little girls are so attentive to his needs and offered him many massages and stretch ideas...

and some checks to make sure the butt wasn't affected.
watching these 4 interact is my everything. I am blown away by how blessed we are.

Monday, March 19, 2012

man~child monday *35 weeks 5 days*

the boy is gonna need some toys.
these are some of my faves for him right now.

I stumbled upon these little Funko plushies today and was immediately taken. they are too too cute for words. there are tons of different characters and they just melt my heart. you can find them here.

I actually came across these Huggy Buggys when the Bird was a baby and thought they were amazing. they are squishy and fuzzy and safe for all ages. the only thing is, they were (and I believe are still) reeeeally hard to find. I found them on the Totally Tots website and bought one of each car and two of the balls. the girls still play with the cars, and my man is constantly trying to get them to play catch with the balls.
hopefully the boy will be more obliging...

we were first introduced to these Automoblox cars at a birthday party for one of Birdie's friends. I remember telling Babe: when we have a little boy, I want to get these. I wrote the name down and have kept it ever since. the larger size cars are awesome and can be taken apart and put back together like this:
they are a little pricey, with the larger cars close to $40 a piece, but really seem worth it. Automoblox cars and suvs can be found all over; these pictures are from the Fat Brain Toys website.

this is the number 1 for me...for the boy. I can't get the picture of him with a slingshot hanging out of his back pocket out of my head, and these slingshots are exactly what I imagine. they come in a moose, a deer, a wolf, an eagle...lots of choices for boys and gals alike. snag one right here.

have fun!!!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

just in case...

someone you know ever colors all over her entire face with a Sharpie: it will come off.

and if said person also happens to color directly on her eyeball: this too will come off.

I know because it happened to me~I mean Eenie.

2 days later, we're almost completely unmarked ☺

Monday, March 12, 2012

man~child monday *34 weeks 5 days*

over the weekend we got to spend a little time with our beloved Chi and JJ.

the girls get so excited about seeing those two and this time was even more thrilling as we were joined by some of their friends...and a bit of a wake~up call.

Chi's friend Carrie was there with her two adorable little boys.
and while Eenie seemed to enjoy the company of their 2 year old, it was the baby who really worked my Een up in a way that's got me feeling a little nervous.

as of recent, Eenie has been very much attached to me.
she only wants momma.
she won't let anyone else hold her.
and now she won't let me hold anyone else.

when I asked to hold Carrie's babe, Eenie freaked out.
when Mais asked to hold him, Eenie seemed intrigued...

and she wanted in.
and then quickly decided she wanted out.

aside from being embarrassed by my baby's behavior, I started feeling anxious worrying about how she is going to react to her new brother.
when Mais was born, Birdie was nearly 2 and a half. she never acted jealous. she was very much into her sister. she was like a little momma.
when Eenie was born, Maisy was only 15 months. maybe she was too young to understand or maybe she was just feeling that baby vibe like her sister before, but I never remember Mae Mae acting out in any way.

now there's Eenie.

Carrie assured me that before the baby was born, her older son would become very jealous if she held another baby. but she said that once his brother was born it was like he "just knew" this was his bro, and he is amazing with his baby.

I feel deeply that the girls will all welcome their brother lovingly, but I know that it will be a big adjustment for everyone~especially young Eenie~and I reeeally hope that Carrie is right ♥

because: he. is. coming.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

♥ it's a date ♥

Mae Mae had her 1st date alone with my mom and dad today.
she was so excited.
she picked out a new hat to wear.
she kept going over all of the different things she was going to tell her Grampy and Trishy.
she made it very clear to Eenie that no babies were allowed.

she knew it was something very special.

and while this date may not have gone perfectly,
and Mais may have forgotten most of the info she wanted to share with her company,
and she may have had one minor meltdown,
her recollection of the day is that it was wonderful...

and she can't wait to do it again ♥

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


this afternoon, Birdie was playing with a "sword" and pretended that she was cutting me. Mais got very upset by this and started crying.

the Bird and I consoled her by saying it was just fake and we were just playing and I wasn't really hurt.

and Mae Mae was fine.

until Birdie said, "But Mais, do you know Mommy really is gonna get cut when they wanna get the baby out? But don't worry, Mais, they give her vitamins so the blood doesn't get all out of her body. And she doesn't hurt too bad. But it is really real, Mais."

and then Mae Mae got a little upset again.

it kinda reminded me of this scene from "Knocked Up":

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

fridge benefits

I came across this magnetic board post over at From Mrs. to Mama and knew it would help me out with a little problem I've been having: a cluttered refrigerator door.

while I love displaying the girls' art work and pictures, I can NOT stand the look of an overcrowded fridge door. it's especially noticeable and overwhelming because of the size of our kitchen (see: tiny) and I just don't like it.

so I decided to create a "refrigerator" just for them. their own space to display as much of...anything they'd like.

I was able to get all of the materials at Wal~Mart for around $20.

I used:
1. an ATP oil drip pan (found in the automotive section) 2. hot glue gun 3. fabric (I used 2 prepackaged yards of a sheet like material found in the craft section) 4. magnets (I made ours using stickers and sticker magnets) 5. thin pieces of wood (also found in the craft section) to create the handles, that I wrapped in 6. silver ribbon (obviously, if you're not creating a fridge replica, the ribbon and wood pieces are unnecessary)

check out:From Mrs. to Mama, as she did a wonderful job of outlining the steps. I scrambled to complete ours during an iffy nap time, so I couldn't stop for pics during the process, but here is our finished product:

happy tuesday!!

Monday, March 5, 2012

man~child monday *33 weeks 5 days*

I think that for my man, this little boy can't get here fast enough. it's not just that he's surrounded by all girls: emotional, hyper~sensitive, extremely girly girls; it's that he longs for the type of relationship that comes more naturally with boys.

he wants to wrestle and roughhouse with the girls, he wants to throw and pass and kick balls with them, he wants to watch sports with them. and they scream when he makes a move like he's going to "sacka" them, they cry when his ball games lead to destruction (i.e. the fairy that the Bird painted being knocked to the floor and shattering this morning), and they're more interested in sitting and reviewing all the princesses or sitting and coloring than sitting down to watch a game.

when we found out that this little one was a boy, I remember being surprised by how emotional Babe was. I asked, "Did you really want a boy that bad?" and he just looked at me and said: YES!!!

I know he adores each of the girls and truly enjoys spending time doing all the girly things with them, but I guess there is something about having "your boy" by your side that we girls just can't touch.

and the girls and I?

we are just fine with that ☺

Friday, March 2, 2012

freaking friday

here we are.

and it's March.

and our baby is coming in April.

and I'm kinda freaking.

I'm freaking because I'm a little nervous, because I have no idea what to expect, because I still have so much to do, and most of all I'm freaking because I am just so unbelievably excited.

I cannot wait to meet this little boy.

I can't wait to get to know his personality (between his nighttime dance parties and his general non~stop movement, I'm getting a very wild vibe), I can't wait to see who he looks like (I'm hoping he's a little mini~me to his dad), and I can't wait to watch how the girls interact with him. (I think they'll be amazing.)

I get butterflies when I think about how quickly things are happening, how with that first breath our family and our lives will be forever changed, and how without even meeting him I am already so incredibly in love with this little baby.

I am freaking.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

sick day part II

with Birdie home sick again today, I thought I'd give an outing another try.

despite our failed Wal~Mart excursion yesterday, I decided to set my sights even higher.

this time:

I had one specific item in mind: this $20 highchair.

I love the clean lines and simplicity about their pieces, and while I braced myself for the fact that it could be a disaster, in the end (despite one minor setback*) I'd call it a great success!

we played, we enjoyed lunch together, the girls were on excellent behavior, and I was able to gain inspiration for little projects I'd like to complete around the house.

we left with just the highchair, but we'll be back for more.

(hopefully before baby boy makes his entrance)

*I told the girls that if they were all good listeners they could play in the children's area we saw last time. it looked amazing~a huuuuuuge ball pit, tons of things to climb on, an area set up for coloring~and we were all really excited. however, when we finally made it to this area I was told that 1. no parents were allowed and 2. Eenie was not allowed as she is both too short and too un~potty trained. I didn't feel comfortable leaving the older girls and I didn't think it was fair to little bitty midget Eenie, so we passed. Birdie took it the worst, but got over it very quickly.