Monday, April 18, 2011

no more waiting on the Wakefields...

sometimes I like to get in bed right after the babes. this would be around 7 o'clock. on these nights, I want to zone out using The Real Housewives or Teen Mom as backround noise...I very rarely feel like reading. the one exception I can always make, however, is for Liz and Jess Wakefield and all their fabulous friends and cars. who wouldn't want to read all about blonde California girls with perfect size 6 bodies and eyes as blue as the sea?? (oh yeah, and they're rich)

the very best Sweet Valley High books are those when the shit really starts to hit the fan: Liz and Jess both vying for the title of Prom Queen, the rivalry with Big Mesa turning seriously ugly with a crashed beach party and then shaving cream all over Sweet Valley High students' expensive automobiles, and then...what's this?!?!...Jess spikes Liz's drink?!? Liz kills Sam?!? and it just keeps getting better after that:

so a couple months back when I read about an upcoming Sweet Valley book, I went right on ahead and put myself on a waiting list. Liz and Jess 10 years later?! just imagine how fabulous everything must be for them now!! well, before clicking 'order', I wanted to read some of the reviews on the book; I sure am glad that I did. full of "spoiler alerts" and "BIG spoiler alerts" former Sweet Valley fans held nothing back. apparently the number and frequency of typos and inconsistencies is distracting. names of characters and high school story lines were changed. and....BIG SPOILER ALERT...I guess Steven turned gay. yes. Steven (BMOC) Wakefield is gay. here is a quote from an angry fan on the new Steven Wakefield: I also enjoy Steven's super unenlightened thoughts on his newly discovered gayness, particularly when he sits down and thinks about how funny it is that his "homosexual" relationship is just like his "heterosexual" one! OH MY GOD, DO YOU MEAN THE GAYS ARE PEOPLE, TOO?!?!?!?!?! How groundbreaking.
oh!!!!! and the title for this person's review is: Good News - Francine Pascal Still Hates Fat People

bahaha!!!! I may still get it...


Kit O'Leary said...
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Kit O'Leary said...

BAHAHAHA!!!! you "may" still get it? gag fest. we'll be getting it for sure and swapping the book back and forth (you will naturally be reading your bazooka joe jokes hidden inside).
and per SOP, i'll fill ya in on all the latest happs. i am so nervous about all of the changes in SV! i haven't been so scurred since the girl (em) dressed up as jess and liz (me & you) and tried to kill us (them) and steal their friends (father and mother) and seduce their bi-curious brother steve(mags, mike & john)!

at least francine has remained the same throughout all the dramz. she knows wasabi - the crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe. a.k.a. fat people are the devil.