Monday, November 28, 2011

man~child monday *19 weeks 5 days*

I always had a sense of what each of our kids would be like before she was born. the Bird was a dream the second I found out I was pregnant. I knew she'd be an angel, and she truly was. with Maisy I remember feeling that baby (we didn't know if she was a girl or boy) would be very...spirited. I just got a little bit of that "crazy baby" vibe; my vibe was right on and I wouldn't change that spirit for anything in the world. with Eenie I knew she would be easy-going and relaxed, very much like Birdie. again, I was right.
with our little man~baby, my feelings are mixed. I feel that he is going to bring with him a sense of calm, but the way I feel him moving makes me think we've got another little party animal on the way. I feel him moving all. the. time. before I fall asleep at night: I feel him moving around, when I wake up in the middle of the night: there's my little buddy, driving around during the day: he's going non-stop.
I went in for my 18 week ultrasound and the technician commented on how active the baby was. when he discovered baby was breech, he assured me that with the way this little guy moves, he'll be flipping every which way over the next 20+ weeks. it was relieving to hear the tech say this with such certainty, because our Eenie was breech and never flipped, and I really want to do anything to avoid a repeat c-section.
the tech also discovered something called a choroid plexus cyst on our baby's brain. this news sort of took over that initial relief I felt over the possibility of delivering naturally and has kept me nervous and anxious ever since. I was told that this type of cyst could be nothing or it could be a marker for something called Trisomy 18. so now we are left waiting and wondering and worrying until next monday when my best friend/baby's godmother will accompany me as I go in for a Level 2 ultrasound.
I'm nervous and scared and consumed by thinking of all the what if's. but it's these excruciating times of uncertainty that I feel the support of my family and friends and the power of prayer and I know in my heart that everything will be alright ♥

1 comment:

Erika Duffey said...

Love you guys so much. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo