last week, I had a major meltdown.
I was angry and overwhelmed. I felt like I wasn't getting the help I needed at home. I freaked out and went for a drive. I called my best friend hysterical and looking for the type of encouragement she seems to give best. she talked to me calmly, validated what I was feeling, and best of all made me laugh.
a few days later, she sent me this article. it touched on almost everything I'd been feeling, and could not have come at a better time.
the article discusses the difference between chronos and kairos time. according to wikipedia, chronos is "chronological or sequential time", while kairos "signifies a time in between, a moment of indeterminate time in which something special happens."
in high school I attended a Kairos retreat, and while it was moving and profound at the time, it takes on a much deeper meaning now.
my life as a mom is filled with "chronos" moments, hours, days... some times I find myself counting down like I did as a babysitter until the instant I will be relieved. some days are just rotten and seem to go on forever.
but even the bad days really are not all bad.
within each and every day~if I allow it and am open to it~I will recognize the wonder of a "kairos" moment. where things in the background become blurry and all that matters is Eenie's sweet little voice attempting to sing "happy birthday", or Maisy's face deep in concentration while she tries over and over again to draw a perfect heart, or Birdie running to me after school screaming: MOMMY!!
these are God's moments where everything~if only for a second~is perfect. I realize at these times that I am doing a good job and that there's no other job in the world I'd rather be doing.
here's a kairos moment of recent:
Eenie begging Birdie: hol' me. HOL' ME!
the Bird being able and willing to,
that precious time that God allows to stand still.
it may only be a second, but when I live right in that moment it's all I need.